Dealing with the mindfuck (and fallout) from the number of past lovers.

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Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

At the start of dating, my wife told me the number of men she’s had sex with was 3. She’s recently admitted that the real number is 40. How do I not despise her for this? She has been my best friend for a long time, but she has also lied a LOT about sexual things.

Richard N. — Syracuse, NY

____

Hey Richard,

Huh! I wonder what I would say to a woman who wrote in with this question:

“When I first met my husband, he asked…


What to do when the love of your life is polyamorous and you are not

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Photo purchased from 123RF Stock Photo

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

The love of my life is a polyamorous woman. I reluctantly accept her lifestyle with the understanding that she will involve me in her encounters somehow (watching, videos, audio, etc.)

The first attempt at this was with a former FWB. She forgot to record anything because things happened too fast. It took everything I had to be ok with this situation. The one thing I asked for she ignored.

When I confront her she starts sobbing saying she’s sorry. I don’t know what to do.

David B.

____


How to read if a date is into you or if they’re on their way out.

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Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

I started dating a guy who divorced six months ago. We went out three days in a row, and the following day he left for a three-day work trip.

I haven’t talked to him since I saw him on Monday. Today is Thursday and crickets. Yes, he is on a work trip, but not even texting. We got physical, but we didn’t have sex. I said I needed to be monogamous and…


The predictable steps you’re likely to take on your journey to finding love.

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Source: 123RF Stock Photo

I went on 121 first dates before I found my love. Can you even imagine? And I discovered there are ten predictable stages to dating.

Not everyone experiences all of them, or even in order. But understanding what to expect can help you navigate the tricky and sometimes insidious dating landscape.

Are you ready to dive in? Let’s do this!

#1 Ready to Date

Ready to date means you’re probably in one of two camps. You’re either…

Eager & Enthusiastic, as in you’ve finally ditched that going-nowhere-for-way-too-long relationship, or the ink…


5 things to remember when you’re dating someone exclusively.

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

I’ve been dating a guy for two years. We get along great — intellectually, sexually, humor-wise, etc.

We were long-distance as he worked in another state. We talked or texted every day. We saw each other about every 6 weeks.

We never said, “I love you,” and when I brought it up, he said he had trouble expressing his feelings. His actions (driving 7 hours through snow storms to see me, etc.) said he cared so I was okay…


And how to navigate getting to know a new date.

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Photo purchased from 123RF Stock Photo

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

What do you do with guys who, whenever you ask them a question about their life and what’s up, they use it as an opportunity to kiss ass?

Sure, it’s flattering (or something) when they say I’m their favorite part of their day, or what they’re most looking forward to this weekend is finally meeting me. But what I’m really asking is: “what’s exciting about your life that makes you happy/eager to get out of bed every morning?”…


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Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

My husband doesn’t wear a wedding ring. I think people notice, and I don’t really want women hitting on him. For me, my wedding ring is a reminder of our love. Is it disrespectful? I’m not sure how should I feel about this…

Tanzie A.

____

Hey Tanzie,

A gazillion other advice-slingers out there wholeheartedly disagree with me, so if you don’t like my answers, different ones will be easy to find.

But before you bail from what you think you might not want to hear, consider that…


What to do when one person’s religious beliefs get in the way of partnership.

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

My husband’s religious beliefs are causing problems in our marriage and I need your help. We’ve been together for over 10 years. I grew up religious, and he joined our church shortly after we began dating because of my family’s influence, but after I’d moved out of my parents’ house, my religious beliefs and practices have been non-existent.

My brother came out as gay when I was in my mid-twenties. I have a slight…


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Photo Purchased through 123RF Stock Photo

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

I’m 45 years old but people think I’m 30. I’m youthful and I exercise regularly. I have quite a few men contacting me, but I don’t seem to get past the first date. We have lively, fun conversations, and sometimes we’re even together for three hours. What’s my problem?

Lena C.

_____

Hey Louise,

I wish I could be there with you to see what’s going on and give you the why!

Since you can’t put me in your pocket and take me with you, I’ll start by…


The “Dos” and “Don’ts” of the Day

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to make my partner feel special on Valentine’s Day with Covid-19. There’s snow on the ground — I can’t even take her out to dinner. Help!

J.D.

___

Hey J.D.

This one is E-A-S-Y.

Ask her what would make her happy for V Day, and from there, have a discussion on what works and/or what would be fun for both of you. You don’t have to surprise her with something unexpected or extravagant. …

Wendy Newman Author – Dating, Sex & Relationships

Author of 121 First Dates (Simon & Schuster) & advice pusher at WendySpeaks.com

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