It Took Years — It Should Have Taken Weeks

Wendy Newman
5 min readFeb 26, 2021

5 things to remember when you’re dating someone exclusively.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Hey Wendy,

I’ve been dating a guy for two years. We get along great — intellectually, sexually, humor-wise, etc.

We were long-distance as he worked in another state. We talked or texted every day. We saw each other about every 6 weeks.

We never said, “I love you,” and when I brought it up, he said he had trouble expressing his feelings. His actions (driving 7 hours through snow storms to see me, etc.) said he cared so I was okay with taking it slow.

After his temporary job ended, we were planning to move in together and then he got distant. When I asked what was up, he said he wasn’t ready to take that next step. He said he didn’t know why because I was so gorgeous and had an amazing personality and he knew what a catch I was, but he just didn’t feel that “spark.” He thought our relationship never moved beyond friendship.

I told him if after 2 years he didn’t see a future with me, then I had to move on.

I know he’s not my guy because I shouldn’t have to convince a guy to love me, but damn. We had all the makings for something fabulous and…



Wendy Newman

Dating, Sex & Relationship Expert and Author of 121 First Dates (Simon & Schuster). Over 80,000 women trust Wendy’s advice, tools, & experience.