Goodbye — And Thank You

Wendy Newman
3 min readApr 14, 2023
It’s me, Wendy Newman!

Dear Readers,

Have you ever wondered, “What gives her the right to dispense so many opinions?”

The answer is easy — anyone can do this. We all have opinions. But I do have a relevant backstory to back up mine:

Growing up, I had a hard time trusting and feeling safe around men.

As a young woman, I was a feminist and a woman’s woman. I moved to San Francisco, got a bunch of gay boyfriends, and ran a non-profit that housed disenfranchised women. My staff, clients, and board were all women. By age 21, I’d found the kindest, safest guy I could find to marry. The way I saw it at the time, I’d successfully eliminated all domineering masculine energy from my world. Go, me!

But by age 35, I was exhausted.

Being the one “in control” in my marriage was, just like I’d originally wanted, initially awesome. A dozen years in, though, I was pulling the weight of both sides of our partnership and was 100% accountable for everything.

I had to leave this sweet, amazing man because I was exhausted and because I’d realized that I didn’t need someone to boss around–what I needed was a partner. An equal.

As we were separating, I did a workshop to learn how to understand men and how to partner well (so I wouldn’t screw things up next time). I…



Wendy Newman

Dating, Sex & Relationship Expert and Author of 121 First Dates (Simon & Schuster). Over 80,000 women trust Wendy’s advice, tools, & experience.