Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold
I’m 34, single, and three and a half months pregnant. I’m ready for the next chapter of my life to start, and I was thinking of joining a dating site. But now I’m wondering if it’s wrong. What do you think?
The short answer is no, it is not wrong to date — online or otherwise — as a pregnant woman. And you won’t be the first.
Lead with your belly
All I ask is that you say so somewhere in the first two paragraphs of your online profile. It doesn’t have to be your headline, but work it in as soon as you can.
This isn’t the kind of thing you roll out over time or unveil as they get to know you better (and as your belly gets more visible). You need to be right out in front with it with any person you date.
Let them sort you out
There are a lot of daters who will not be into dating a pregnant person. Let them own that experience and move on. You don’t want to be halfway through date three, sipping your virgin cocktail and explaining why you’re not drinking alcohol while dealing with the disconcerting look on their face right before they flee.
There are some who will fetishize you. Depending on who you are and what you’re looking for, this could be awesome or awkward — just be prepared either way.
If your pregnancy involves an ex, will that be a consideration? What impact will it have when you bring a new person into your world? Sort that out first.
I’m genuinely impressed by your boldness. Others will be, too. Not everyone, but some. This is good — you’re not gonna have the time, energy, and bandwidth to date everyone under the sun while growing a little human. Choose carefully who you say yes to during this very precious time. Your moods have an impact on baby in utero, so if it’s too much emotionally, find other ways to make the two of you happy.
Wendy Newman is the author of 121 First Dates. She’s a dating, sex, and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 70,000+ women internationally.
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You can send a question to the column via email: Wendy@WendySpeaks.com